in english class today my teacher asked “what is the definition of poetry” and he called on me and i said “any type of writing that is not prose” and he got very angry because his lesson plan was to have a twenty minute discussion about the definition of poetry and then tell the class the definition was any writing that wasnt prose and apparently i ruined his lesson so he took my talking privileges away
Imagine Teddy getting a howler from Tonks and he starts to freak out but when he opens it, it’s like
TEDDY GUESS WHAT, THE WEIRD SISTERS ARE COMING TO TOWN. PACK YOUR THINGS, SON, I ALREADY TALKED TO MCGONAGALL AND SHE SAID IT’S COOL. MERLIN’S PANTS I’M SO EXCITED. DON’T TELL ANYONE OKAY, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T TELL DAD EITHER. OH FUCK, IS THIS A HOWLER? I FUCKED UP, I FUCKED UP.
And Remus at the teachers table covering his face to hide his laughter.
Dean, Death and Food
Recently my grandmother found out I’m queer. Her response was to tell me that she disapproves of me living with my “friend” (i.e. my girlfriend) and that I should give up my vile queer ways and become a Christian (Lol). She even sent me a bible. Here are its remains, which I made into black-out poetry.
Poem 1: Bisexual (from Leviticus 19:9)— “Have sexual relations with her. Have sexual relations with him. Have sexual relations with both a woman and a man. Have sexual relations with yourself. Vomit on everyone who does not respect you.”
Poem 2: Fisting (from Judges 8:5)— “water/ lap the water/ drink/go down to drink/your hands/go down/I give into your hands/go down/encouraged/down/on the seashore/the whole hand/your hand/inside/I get to the edge/and shout/grasping/crying out/Beth/Beth/Beth/Beth/Beth/God/I came”
Poem 3: A Letter to the Exiles (from Jeremiah 28:13) — “Ze said: ‘Do not let lies name you, nor harm your heart. Gather. Raise the sword against them. They scorn and reproach, for they have not listened— again and again have not listened.’ “
Poem 4: Child (from Ezekiel 16:22) — “Your father and your mother rubbed salt in. No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough for you, for on the day you were born you were despised. Live! Grow. I looked at you and saw you were enough.”
Poem 5: Father (from Ezekiel 16:22) — “You never adored us. You became very angry. You took some out on us. Your sons and daughters were not enough? You slaughtered— in all your detestable practices— our youth.”
Poem 6: Misandry (from Acts 27:41) — “Dangerous men should be broken.”
are you ever just hit with the overwhelming realization that you exist
Season 2 of Gravity Falls premieres this summer!
- 1.Kissed a girl?
- 2.Kissed a boy?
- 3.Had sex in public?
- 4.What’s your religion?
- 5.What does your URL mean?
- 6.Reason you joined tumblr?
- 7.Do you have any nicknames?
- 8.Do you like bubble bath?
- 9.Kissed in the rain?
- 10.Dyed your hair?
- 11.Soup or salad?
- 12.Vegetable or meat?
- 13.Go out drinking?
- 14.Smoke cigarettes?
- 15.Smoke weed?
- 16.Do any hard drugs?
- 17.Have you had sex today?
- 18.Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?
- 19.The relationship between you and the person you last texted?
- 20.Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
- 21.Skipped doing homework to play a video game?
- 22.Tried to commit suicide?
- 23.The last time you felt broken?
- 24.Had to lie to EVERYONE about how you felt?
- 25.Do you have a Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
- 26.Do you have Long hair OR short hair?
- 27.First thing you notice to a guy/girl?
- 28.Do you sing in the shower?
- 29.Do you dance in the car?
- 30.Where were you yesterday?
- 31.Ever used a bow and arrow?
- 32.Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
- 33.Do you think musicals are cheesy?
- 34.Is Christmas stressful?
- 35.Favorite type of fruit pie?
- 36.Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
- 37.Do you believe in ghosts?
- 38.Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
- 39.Take a vitamin daily?
- 40.Wear slippers?
- 41.Wear a bath robe?
- 42.What do you wear to bed?
- 43.Do you want to get married?
- 44.Can you curl your tongue?
- Relationship preference:
- 45.How many relationships have you had?
- 46.How can I win your heart?
- 47.what makes a great relationship?
- 48.Shy OR open?
- 50.Religious OR non-religious?
- 51.Caring OR non-restricting of you?
- 52.Straight edge OR non-straight edge?
- 53.Piercings OR no piercings?
- 54.Tattoos OR no tattoos?
- 55.Quiet stay-at-home type OR party type?
What if supernatural does wackiest episodes just so that Tumblr users actually have a gif for everything?
"Okay, what gif do we need"
"I don’t think we’ve covered a guinea pig yet"
yeah, but can the science side of tumblr explain THIS *whips out dick*
alright! someone bring me the microscope.
911? There have been shots fired on tumblr dot com